“If it is right, it happens - The
main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”
John Steinbeck’s response to his eldest son Thom’s 1958 letter, in
which the teenage boy confesses to have fallen desperately in love with a girl while
at boarding school.
“New York
November 10, 1958
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:
We had your
letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course
Elaine will from hers.
First — if
you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can
happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second —
There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical
thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind.
The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and
consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the
greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable.
The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release
in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you
had.
You say
this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.
But I don’t
think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you
wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.
Glory in it
for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object
of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love
someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that
some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into
consideration.
Girls have
a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it
also.
It
sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another
— but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I
know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.
We will be
glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such
arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She
knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don’t
worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to
hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Love,
Fa”
Source: bainpickings
No comments:
Post a Comment